Pick on Someone Your Own Size!

Last night, I watched America Has Talent for the first time. It is a new show, much like American Idol, which has several different individuals/groups competing in a "talent show" where the winner receives a million dollars. Although I thought some of the acts were pretty good, I was appalled when a woman got on stage dressed as Snow White and then proceded to STRIP down to a sequined bra and teeeeensy weeeeensy panties. I guess her talent was exotic dancing? Come on! There are KIDS watching this show! Of course, since the judging panel consisted of two men and only one woman, Miss Snow White was advanced to the next round. And that's not even the worst part. At the end of the show, they showed a few seconds of other performances who also made it into the next round, but didn't get put on the show. They put A STRIPPER on television instead of a boy playing his violin or a group of young teens dancing. UGGH!

Still, what bothered me the most had nothing to do with the stripper. The very last act was an eleven-year old little red-head girl who literally blew everyone's socks off. Her name was Bianca Ryan and she was AWESOME!! The first two judges stood and applauded, then gave her lots of much-deserved praise. Then it was time for the third judge -- the "Simon Cowell" of the panel. He started by telling her she needed to change her hair, get a new dress, and some new shoes. After that he told her she was good. I seriously wanted to cry for that little girl. Imagine how excited she was when she got ready to go on the show! I'm sure she and her parents spent DAYS deciding what she would wear, went out and bought her a new outfit, and assured her that she looked dazzlingly beautiful before she went out on stage. She looked completely appropriate for a girl of her age, but I guess since she wasn't dressed as sexy or flashy as Snow White, Mr. Cowell-Guy thought it was okay to make fun of her on national television! What message does that send to every pre-teen girl in America? I'm so disgusted!

Torn

Earlier this month, we began the last year of our committment to the Army. Last year at this time, we were sure that we'd be staying in -- if not for 20 years, at least long enough for Jon to get his master's degree and possibly teach somewhere. However, since then our thoughts about staying in have changed a lot. We are honestly torn about whether we should stay in the Army or join the civilian world. It is SUCH a hard decision -- especially because we are looking at two opposite ends of the military spectrum -- getting out or trying for Special Forces.

I have been trying to just leave the decision up to Jon, and let him know that I will support him either way. We both trust that the Lord will guide us to where we're supposed to be. This doesn't mean I don't think about it every day, though! Each day, I go back and forth about what I think we should do. Selfishly, I often find myself wanting him home with me and out of harm's way forever. I want him to be able to enjoy being a father who is always home with his kids -- sometimes the thought of being a single mother scares me. Of course, when I talk to anyone in my family about this, they nod their heads adamantly and say that the best thing for our family would be for Jon to get out of the Army.

But then I find myself looking at the whole thing from a different perspective. When I look at the job description for Special Forces, I feel like it perfectly describes my husband. He LOVES that kind of stuff! The more challenging and impossible a task is, the more he enjoys it. He loves the physical part of his job. He thrives on the responsiblity of leading people and the bonds he creates with his soldiers. I know that Jon would try for special for Special Forces without even a second thought if he was still a single soldier. My biggest fear is that if we do decide to get out, Jon will look back in 10 years and say, "I wish I would've ... ." I know that our first priority should be our family -- and that the healthiest families probably have both parents around most of the time. However, I also believe that some people have a higher calling, and are called to make sacrifices in order to make a difference in this world. After all, our country was founded and developed by men and women who had the courage to make these sacrifices.

Anyways, as I was talking to Jon last night, I told him that I wish we could talk with a Special Forces family to see what advice they would have for us. Like ... What is life really like for an SF family? Would you make the same decision all over again? How do your kids adjust? If there are any SF families out there who have any words of wisdom, I would love to hear from you! And those of you who have already made the decision to stay in or get out -- what are some of the different things you considered?

Like I said, we completely trust that the Lord will show us just where we're supposed to be! And I know we'll end up happy either way. We have plenty of time to decide, we're just a little torn right now!

Update

Okay, so I want to have another wedding. To the same groom, of course. I just want to pick out a new dress, a new cake, new flowers, new bridesmaids' dresses, etc. Don't get me wrong -- I LOVED my wedding. I just want all of the excitement of another one!

This last weekend, I got to visit my friend Ally in Fort Worth. We were roommates and teammates all four years of college and she recently got engaged. While I was visiting, we spent lots of time looking for a wedding dress, looking at invitations, and browsing through wedding magazines. HOW FUN!! It was kind of like we just shopped all weekend, but didn't spend any money. :) (My husband is LOVING reading this right now!) I also got to spend some time with my Aunt MK (my mom's sister) and her family. She has a new grandson that my cousin and his wife adopted from Russia last fall and I got to meet him for the first time -- he was soooo cute! It was just such a great weekend, I didn't want it to end!

I really love the Fort Worth/Dallas Metroplex and think it would be a great place to live. I lived there for 4 years while I was in college. However, I was reminded of something on my visit. I have been so used to life in Colorado Springs, where money doesn't seem to be a huge priority for people. Sure, some of my friends are into clothes -- but we splurge by going to Target or TJ MAXX, not Prada or Nieman Marcus (I probably even spelled it wrong!). Maybe I'm just uber-sensitive, but I'd forgotten how everything is such a show there. The pressure of "doing well" and appearing "perfect" is kind of overwhelming. Kind of makes me scared to live there again some day -- Jon and I had talked about that as a possibility. Who knows? Just some observations ...

For right now, I'm PERFECTLY happy in Michigan. Yes, I'm a little bit bored. BUT, I'm spending almost every day at the beach, picking strawberries at the farm down the road, walking with my mom every night, and spending lots of QT with the people I love most (minus my hubby, of course)! My mom has a wonderful way of "filling my bucket" -- making me feel loved and important. I am so lucky to be a part of such a wonderful family as I realize more and more that many people aren't so fortunate.

The Break-Up

I just got back from seeing The Break-Up with my mom and sister. It is one of the best movies I've seen in a long time. REALLY FUNNY -- Maybe just because Vince Vaughn's character reminds me so much of my husband in so many ways. I'll have to be sure to watch it with him when he gets home so that we can both laugh about it!

Book Review: The Kitchen Boy

I just finished my first summer read, The Kitchen Boy by Robert Alexander.


I LOVED this book. It was a quick read and kept me on the edge of my seat. It is about the Romanov family. The father of this family -- Nicholas -- was the last Tsar of Russia. It tells about their final month of house arrest before they are killed by members of the Bolshevik revolution. It is told from the point of view of one of their servants. There is a great twist at the end. I would DEFINITELY recommend this book for anyone out there who likes historical fiction.

I also found out the the same author wrote a book called Rasputin's Daughter. Maybe I'll have a chance to fit that one in this summer, too!

Military Slide Show

My Friend, Sally, sent me the link to this slide show.

Turn on your speakers and be still ....

www.iwo.com/heroes.htm

I love it here!

The days here in Michigan have been going by nice and slow -- just like they should in the summer-time! I just got here on Saturday afternoon, but I feel like I've been here a lot longer than that! Maybe that's what is so great about coming home -- feeling like you've never left!

So my vacation starts off with kind of a funny story. My mom picked me up at the South Bend airport on Saturday. When I opened the door to load my suitcases in back of the minivan, I immediately saw that it was already almost full with a CRIB! Now, this wouldn't be a big deal at all IF MY MOM HAD ANY GRANDCHILDREN!!! But she doesn't -- and there are none in sight either. I wasn't mad -- I just had to laugh. She wants to be a grandma so bad, and was determined to find a cheap crib sometime this summer. Oh mom ... :)

When we got home, we immediately drove down to St. Joseph to check out my dad's new boat. He is so proud of it, and in the 4 days I've been home, we've already been down there to hang out twice. I think we're going to have a lot of fun with it this summer. My dad is trying to convice my mom that we should take a trip across the lake to Chicago sometime this summer. It would take about 3 hrs to get there by boat (yes, the lake really is that big!!) My mom is a little scared of the idea, though!

Sunday, Monday, and today I went to the beach and relaxed. I just kept thinking about how lucky I am to be here. People pay a lot of money to be able to spend their vacation time on a beach! I always took it for granted when I lived here. But since I've moved away, I've come to realize what a special part of the country I grew up in. We spend a lot of time in St. Joseph, which is just about 15 minutes away from my house. Click on the link to see some pics:

www.sjtoday.org/sjtoday_htm/images%20of%20st%20Joseph.htm

I keep thinking about all those people who asked if I was really going to spend the WHOLE summer at home. Heck Yeah! How could I not want to spend my whole summer in a place like this! Not only is the beach great, but everything is SO GREEN! I live in a smaller town called Baroda. All of Southwest Michigan is very agricultural and Baroda is right in the thick of all the fields of crops, orchards, and vineyards. I love to walk in the evenings because everything is just gorgeous. Everything is so healthy and alive and growing!

I am loving being able to spend lots of time with my family, especially my little sister, Katherine. I will try to post some photos as I take them. I feel so blessed right now!

My Personal Heaven

I literally heard the sound of angels singing and harps playing as I entered my own personal heaven today -- Borders OUTLET!!!!! Who knew they had an OUTLET??!!! I felt the same way I do when I go to Target or Walgreens (those of you who know me know exactly what that means -- haha). I found the same books I was eyeing on the fiction tables at the regular Borders for between $2.99 and $5.99. HALLELUIAH!!

So here's a synopsis of my picks:

Amagansett by Mark Mills
About a working-class fisherman who lives in Long Island. His postwar community is sharply divided between those who live there year-round and the wealthy who just come for summer. Lives change when his nets pull in the body of a beautiful young woman, seaweed twined in her hair ...


The Kitchen Boy: A Novel of the Last Tsar by Robert Alexander
Though the events are almost a century old, the imprisonment and execution of Tsar Nicholas and his family still hold an aura of mystery that fascinates. In haunting prose, Robert Alexander retells the story through the eyes of Leonka, once the kitchen boy to the Romanovs, who claims to be the last living witness to the family's brutal execution. Mysteriously spared by the Bolsheviks, the boy vanished into the bloody tides of the Russian Revolution. Now, through Alexander's conjuring, he reemerges to tell his story. What did the young boy see in those last days of the Imperial Family? Does he have answers to long-standing questions about secret letters smuggled to the Tsar, thirty-eight pounds of missing tsarist jewels, and why the bodies of two Romanov children are missing from the secret grave discovered in 1991?


Forever by Pete Hamill
A magical, epic tale of an extraordinary man who arrives in New York City in 1740 and remains ... forever. Cormac comes to know all the buried secrets of Manhattan -- the way it has been shaped by greed, race, and waves of immigration, by the unleashing of enormous human energies, and, above all, by hope. Through Cormac's eyes, we watch the city grow from a tiny community on the tip of an untamed wilderness to become the thriving metropolis of the present day.

Through it all, Cormac must fight, generation after generation, a force of evil that returns relentlessly in the scions of a single family. It is a family whose path first crossed his in Ireland and whose persistence puts at risk all his hopes for fulfilling his destiny. As he searches out these blood enemies, he must watch everyone he touches slip away ... And so he seeks the one who can change his fate, the mysterious dark lady who alone can free him from the blessing and the curse of his long life.


My Dearest Cecelia: A Novel of the Southern Belle Who Stole General Sherman's Heart by Diane Haeger
Cecilia falls instantly in love with the dashing Northern cadet William Tecumseh Sherman at the Commencement Ball at West point Military Academy. A Southern Belle, she and Sherman assume prominent positions on opposite sides during the Civil War. Legen has it that Sherman's love for Cecilia was the reason he spared her hometown of Augusta during his infamous march to the sea.


And so you can probably figure out my plans for the summer -- lots of good reading on the beautiful shores of Lake Michigan! Me, a beach chair, and a book! (And maybe a margarita or two!)

Army Wives

After the whole "not being released to attend SF Selection" fiasco in March, Jon was switched over to another batallion. Tonight I attended my first wives' coffee with the ladies of this new batallion. I must admit -- I was a little bit nervous to meet them. It is always a little bit intimidating to walk alone into a situation where everyone knows one another. However, they were wonderful to me, greeting me with hugs and acting like I'd been one of them all along. We had a fantastic time with good food (fondue -- yum yum!) and great conversation. I was so impressed by these women. They were laughing and joking, not one of them feeling sorry for themselves -- not even the new mom with the 4 wk old baby, or the one expecting her first in just a few weeks.

When I got home, I had an email waiting for me from my FRG leader. She sent me the story below, which brought tears to my eyes.

Families Share R&R Moments

Dear Mr. Babcock, I went to the Colorado Springs Airport today (Sunday) to say goodbye to relatives that had visited me this week. As we were standing in line at the ticket counter, I realized that right in front of us were some Soldiers ready to go back to Iraq after their leave. Although the Soldiers are heroes and impressive in their own right, I would like to acknowledge their wives.

The family directly in front of us in line stood there quietly, the Army spouse smoothing her Soldier's uniform, touching his sleeve, holding his waist, trying to touch him enough to last her the next six or so months. One of her hands was on the stroller which carried their son, who was no more than 14 months or so. Her eyes were red rimmed as if she'd cried all night, but as she stood there, no tears fell. Her Soldier must've kissed her forehead a dozen times. No hysteria, no weeping. Deep, deep sorrow, but so much pride. His duffel bag said 1-8 IN, and they've had a rough time of it the past few weeks. She kept her fear in check as she held the stroller, and held her husband.

The family directly in front of them was a little different. Mom and her three teenaged daughters joked, smiled and laughed with their Soldier. The girls giggled as mom teased her Soldier about the wedding ring he should be wearing in the field and the one he saved for home. The girls just laughed as mom and dad bantered. Mom leaned nonchalantly against the counter when her Soldier's turn came to check in. It was when that Soldier put his duffel bag on the scale, when his attention was on the airline employee, that his wife dropped her guard for a moment. There was such a look of profound sadness on her face that tears came to my eyes. One of her girls went to her and hugged her. She looked down at her child and gave her the most brilliant smile. At the same time, the young wife in front of us looked down at her little boy and gave him a brilliant smile. It was as if no matter how hard, no matter how worried, no matter how lonely, these women would continue to be both mom and dad to their kids, fierce supporters of their Soldier and their units and the quietest heroes in this country.

Bravo to those two wives, and all the military spouses who do the same each and every day. Next month sometime, by the grace of God, my kids and I will wait anxiously at the same airport to greet our Soldier when he comes home on leave. I pray that by his same grace, I will be as heroic as those two women today when it comes his time to leave.

Memorial Day

I know that Memorial Day is a day to honor those who have made the ultimate sacrifice for our country. I thought about the Sims family quite a few times today. I have never met them, but am a regular visitor of Heidi's blog. Quite honestly, I don't know what I would do if I got that dreaded knock at my door.

Last night, I watched We Were Soldiers Once. I know it's probably kind of morbid for me to watch movies like that or Blackhawk Down, but I do. In some ways, it makes all of this seem more real. Often, I find myself thinking that Jon is just traveling for work, and I forget that he's in danger every day. Maybe it's some sort of coping mechanism -- I don't know. Anyways, the scene where the wives are notified of their husbands' deaths always gets to me. I admire the strength of the women who were notified, and those who were in fear every day of recieving a notification. I think they do such a great job in that movie of presenting the soldiers as real people, with real families. I love the scene where it's the night before the men are leaving. They show the men getting into bed with their wives, and you can see the fear in all of their eyes, the sorrow, and the dread ... but also the pride and sense of duty. I could completely relate to that. I remember the night before Jon left this deployment and the night before he left for his first deployment. You don't even want to sleep. Think about Christmas Eve -- you know when you wake up, all of your presents will be waiting for you, and you are trying and trying to go to sleep because you are so excited. I would have to say -- this is the exact opposite feeling that you have the night before your soldier leaves. The time goes by too quickly, and the words are never enough to communicate how much you love this man, how much you'll miss him, and how proud you are of him.

As I remembered those that have lost their lives for our country, I also thought a lot about those who are putting their lives on the line as we speak. Right after Jon left for his first deployment, my mom got me a frame to put his picture in with the following poem.

A Prayer For A Soldier
Almightly God, with Your loving care,
Protect this soldier while in the air.
Make swift his wings and sharp his eye
With Your strenght if danger is nigh.

Oh gracious God, by Your mighty hand,
Keep safe this soldier while on the land.
Make steady his feet and calm his heart
With peace and protection you impart.

Faithful God, we trust in Thee.
Hold fast to this soldier while on the sea.
Make safe his passage from shore to shore,
And bring him home again once more.

-- Stacey Randall

I pray every day that God will return my soldier to me without even a scrape or a scratch. Next Monday is the anniversary of our big wedding ceremony. I am so proud to be his wife.

A Few Random Thoughts ...

COUNTDOWN

Yes ... the ticker at the bottom of the page is correct. Sigh .... ONLY 4 MORE DAYS OF SCHOOL!!! Summer is almost officially here! Hooray!

It's amazing how time passes depending on how you look at it. When I think about the last year in terms of school, it has FLOWN by! When I think about the last 6 months that Jon has been gone -- it seems like 6 years!! I don't know if I'm just on a high because school is almost over or if this is just the truth, but I really feel like I've had a great year with my kids. Despite the one pain in the butt in every class, all of my other kids were so sweet and so much fun! It just feels really nice to be ending the year with such a positive feeling. PLUS (I've probably said this already) I get to move up with my kiddos to 8th grade next year. Hopefully they won't change too much over the summer! I'm such a math geek -- I can't wait to teach them Algebra! Anyways, my point is that it just feels good not to be dreading the start of the next school year, but to be excited about it instead.

MY HANDSOME HUBBY

I really can't wait until I can put up a countdown for when Jon comes home. Right now he is not scheduled to come home for any R&R. Instead, he is supposedly coming home sometime around September. He has decided to go ahead attend Special Forces Selection in October, so he should get to come home a little early to train up. I know, I know -- I'm definitely not going to get my hopes up this time.

I remember this time last year Jon was at Ranger School. He was just finishing Phase I and I hadn't heard a peep from him in over 3 weeks. I think communication-wise that Ranger School was even worse than Iraq! I only got like 2 phone calls and 1 postcard from him the entire 2 1/2 months! (And all the postcard said was "SEND FOOD!!") Anyways, I can remember sitting at our district retirement tea on the last day of school when I saw that my phone was vibrating. By the time I picked it up, it had stopped ringing. I knew it was Jon, but he never got a chance to call back. I knew I would have to wait at least another 3 weeks. Any Army wife reading this has probably been through the same thing! It's so heartbreaking!

SUMMER PLANS

After school gets out, I'm sticking around here for another week, and then heading to Michigan to spend the summer with my family! I am so excited! Every time I tell someone my plans, they kind of wrinkle their nose and say something like, "You're spending the WHOLE summer with your parents?" I wish I could communicate to them how much I'm looking forward to sitting around the dinner table with people I love every night! I know I'll probably get bored and a little annoyed at times, but I'm looking forward to a wonderful "un-lonely" summer! I'll give you more details later!

Okay ... so that's all my random thoughts for now. I thought I'd include this cute picture of Jon in Iraq. I love the ones with kids in them!

Who ever knew bunny ears were universal?

The Lioness of Judah

Today at school, a guest speaker came to share her story with all of our eighth grade students. Although I teach seventh grade this year, I got a chance to sneak over during my planning period and listen to a little bit of what she had to say.

The woman's name was Sara Hauptman. She is 87 years old and a survivor of the Holocaust. Her story was amazing. She lived in Belgium when the Nazis began their extermination of the Jews. At the time, she was a young mother and was forced to give her children to other people while she went into hiding. Then, she joined the Belgian Resistance -- making false identity papers, delivering messages to prisoners, helping allied aviators who were shot down over Belgium. The cover for her underground activities was a job as a lion tamer in a circus.

She told us of the night she was arrested, her time in the holding camps in Belgium, the transport to Auschwitz-Birkenau, and what life was like in the concentration camp. It is certainly one thing to read about all of this, but to hear a real survivor tell about their experiences in person is something totally different. It was moving and intense and unbelievable. She says that she can still smell the stench of burning flesh from the gas chambers. She told us how she witnessed the Nazis murdering babies by throwing them in the air and shooting them. She told us how she watched a seven year old girl plead with one of the guards to let her stay with her mother and work. The man said "sure" and then threw a football for her to go and catch. As he was running to catch it, he shot her. The things she told where unbelievable. I had to leave and go back to class before she told how she had been a victim of Dr. Mengele's experiments.

And I think that I have things to complain about? This woman had literally been to hell and back. Her story was unbelievable. I can't even begin to imagine what life was like for those people. I have always been enthralled by stories from World War II. I bought Sara's book, called The Lioness of Judah and I can't wait to read it. I'll let you all know how it is ...

Captivating Anne

Right now, I am reading a book by John and Stasi Eldredge, called Captivating. It's a Christian book about "Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul." Today, I was reading a section on what makes a woman truly beautiful. The whole point of the section is that real beauty comes from a heart at rest. There is much more to being beautiful, obviously, than what people see on the outside. The authors talk about two different types of women. The first woman is a woman who is striving -- she is not confident that her beauty will last forever, and is therefore continually striving to make herself more beautiful, more perfect. She stresses if she gains a few pounds or needs her roots highlighted. A woman who is striving makes others around her feel like they also need to strive. The message she sends to others is "Get your act together. Life is uncertain. There is no time for your heart here. Shape up. Get busy. That's what is important."

Sigh ... Unfortunately, I think that's probably me 90% of the time.

The other type of woman is the woman whose heart is at rest. This woman is secure in her self-worth. She feels at home in who she is. The message she sends to others is "You are wanted here. I want to know you. Come in. Share yourself. Be enjoyed. Enjoy me as I share myself."

As I read one particular passage, I couldn't help but think about my good friend, Anne.


She is definitely the latter type of woman. This is the passage:

"A woman of true beauty is a woman who in the depths of her soul is at rest, trusting God because she has come to know him to be worthy of her trust. She exudes a sense of calm, a sense of rest, and invites those around her to rest as well. She speaks comfort; she knows that we live in a world at war, that we have a vicious enemy, and our journey is through a broken world. But she also knows that because of God all is well, that all will be well. A woman of true beauty offers others the grace to be and the room to become. In her presence, we can release the tension and pressure that so often grip our hearts. We can also breathe in the truth that God loves us and he is good."

I hope that someday, I can make others around me feel at rest like Anne does -- she is the master! As women, sometimes I feel like we are under so much pressure to be perfect -- no just in our appearance, but also in the things we do. It totally makes sense, though, that the most beautiful women are the ones who are at rest -- remember the story about Mary and Martha? Who would you rather spend time with?

Saturday Night

I just got back from my regular Saturday night at the movies. This week, I went to see Mission Impossible III. This is totally uncharacteristic of my usual movie choice. I always pick romantic comedies or basically anything other than action or horror. But, I was up for a little change. The movie actually ended up being pretty good. I was on the edge of my seat most of the time.

I used to be a little timid about going to the movies all by myself. It's kind of grown on me, though. You can pick any movie that you want to see. Plus, you don't have to share your popcorn! The only thing is that I feel like I have to make excuses for why I'm alone -- not with my husband or a friend. For example, tonight I saw a coworker as I was walking out of the theater. I totally found myself coming up with things to say in case he asked me if I was here by myself. I know most people usually wouldn't be caught dead somewhere like that by themselves. But I'm not about to just sit home because I don't have a date for the movies!

Anyways ...

One thing I find myself doing all the time since Jon has been gone is thinking about what we would be doing if he was here. It's like a little game we play. We write emails back and forth reminding each other what life would be like if he was here. In all reality, things would be pretty unspectacular, but wonderfully normal. Tonight, for instance, we still would have gone to see MI: III. Jon would have bought our tickets, and I would have bought our treats. Jon would ask for a small popcorn and pop, raise his eyebrows when I ordered a medium for myself, and then complain about how tiny the smalls are. (I guess he usually forgets this fact between Saturday evenings!) Then we would sit down and comment to each other about the previews -- decide which were "Netflix," and which ones we were going to be "SO THERE" for. Jon would then tease me about my high school crush on Tom Cruise, and I would act like I still kind of like him -- you know, just to get him riled up a little. :) At the end of the movie, he would look over to see if I was crying (I usually am), and tease me a little more. Once we got home, we would pick out one of our Netflix, get in our PJs, and cozy up on the couch. Jon would watch the entire thing, and I would be asleep 15 minutes into it.

See ... pretty boring and uneventful. But what I would give to have just had that night. I concluded this week that I'm not really lonely -- I just miss my husband.

Hmmm... almost half way there.

A Little Angel

I got an email today from Jon with the cutest little story in it:

"I was out the other day at a tribal leader's house and his little boy just came up to me out of the blue ... FOR NO REASON AT ALL!. He was like two years old and a real little fella -- he couldn't even talk. He grabbed for me, so I bent down and he wrapped two arms around my neck and gave me a kiss on the cheek. Then he just walked away ..."

I told my aunt this story today and she was certain this little boy must have been an angel. So I started to think about it. You know how everyone has their own love language? Mine is "words of affirmation" and "quality time." Jon's, on the other hand, is touch. I have a feeling that for the past 5 1/2 months he hasn't felt very loved -- I'm pretty sure all those soldiers over there aren't comforting each other with hugs! I wonder what possessed this sweet little boy to come up to my husband, who I'm sure seemed pretty intimidating with his big shoulders and all dressed in his ACUs (although he does have a really friendly smile!). I'm convinced that God sent this little one to Jon so that he could feel just a hint of how much we are all loving him here at home! It's very cool to think that we sent him a real life hug with all of our prayers!

The Stair-Stepper from Hell

I could either go to the gym right now or write another blog. I am totally avoiding actually working out today, so how about if I combine the two and just write about working out? It will still burn calories, right? (yeah -- wouldn't that be a perfect world!)

Yesterday I really did have the desire to get moving. So I woke up early before church, packed Jon's camelback, and headed for a hike in Manitou Springs. Now, I'm not stupid enough to actually venture out on the trails all by myself (I'm totally scared of bears and mountain lions and basically any kind of little critter). But there is one trail in Manitou that ALWAYS has tons of people on it. A long time ago, there used to be a railroad that took people up to Pike's Peak. Since, then, a newer, more advanced railroad -- "The Cog" -- has been built. However, the railroad ties from the old route are still in place, and it is a favorite place for Coloradans (and visitors who are willing to brave the altitude) to test their character and endurance. It is known as the Manitou Incline (aka -- The Stair-Stepper from Hell).

The "Incline" doesn't reach all the way up to Pikes Peak anymore. It does go up about a mile, though. And although the hike up is TORTUROUS, the way down is heavenly -- a 4 mile hike down a series of switchbacks with unbelievable scenery. Anyway -- back to the actual incline. Yesterday I decided it was time for my first hike up the incline this year. I have to say -- I have been avoiding it for a few weeks now. I actually got a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach as I was driving there. But 47 minutes after I took my first step, I was so proud of myself for reaching the top, and felt such a sense of accomplishment -- it was all worth it. After that, I listened to praise music the whole way down and just enjoyed all of the beauty that God surrounded us with here in the Springs. I can't wait to go again next weekend.

Here is a picture that Jon took a few summers ago. I am the blond girl who looks like she's about to die. The picture only shows about the last 1/4 of the incline. It is a LONG way up!

Parents -- UGH!

Teaching would be so easy if it wasn't for PARENTS.

After returning from a workshop today, I got on the computer to check my school email - just making sure I didn't miss anything major today. Most of them were same-old, everyday "who wants to work in the dunk-tank at the carnival on the last day of school," "it's time for the budget committee to meet," "band concert tomorrow night, " yadda yadda yadda. Until I get to the last one -- a parent basically informing me that I have failed her son as a teacher this year. WHAAAAAT???

I'm honestly crushed. I don't even know how to respond to this. It seems that this parent has waited until the last three weeks of school to tell me how much of a disservice my teaching has been to her child, how I personally have failed their family -- basically pinning any responsibility for her son's struggles this year on me. In my 3 years of teaching, I have NEVER had a parent complaint that I can remember. My classroom is very structured, my expectations for my students are very high, and I think I do a pretty good job of holding kids accountable. I don't even want to call or email her back, because I'm afraid what I have to say could get me fired! And the sad thing is -- I really like her son. UGH! I guess I need to just wipe my tears, stop taking it personally, and just let the whole thing go.

Or, I could refer her to the parent hotline ...


SCHOOL ANSWERING MACHINE

"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting the right staff member, please listen to all your options before making a selection:

"To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1

"To make excuses for why your child did not do his work- Press 2

"To complain about what we do - Press 3

"To swear at staff members - Press 4

"To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5

"If you want us to raise your child - Press 6

"If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7

"To request another teacher for the third time this year- Press 8

"To complain about bus transportation - Press 9

"To complain about school lunches - Press 0

"If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework, and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!"

The Best Yet ...

I have to say -- last night may have been the best girl's night yet with our little "Poker Night" group. Instead of having our normal dinner and poker playing, we took the party to Memorial Hospital, where we inducted our newest member, Lisa's precious new daughter, Taylor. We brought pizza and some other goodies, and snuck in a few bottles of wine and celebrated Little Miss Taylor's arrival.

Honey, if you're reading this -- I want one!!

Book Review: "The Devil Wears Prada"

I know this is a little much -- three posts in one day -- but what the heck! I have gotten a lot of comments about my book list. So I wanted to share a little bit about the book I just finished. My friend, Annie, lent me her copy of "The Devil Wears Prada" and I just finished it yesterday. I have to say, I'm not usually one for light-hearted, somewhat silly fiction. But I LOVED this book! It was so enjoyable to sit back and listen to the main character, Andrea, rant and rave about her job and lunatic boss. It was funny and witty, and I didn't want it to end! I can't wait to see the movie this summer!

My Yoga Craze

At the end of January, my best friend and roomate from college, Ally, came to visit me. She looked AWESOME, and when I asked what she had been doing, she said yoga. Of course, as soon as she went upstairs to take a shower, I was on the internet looking for a yoga studio in my area. A week later, I was at a nearby studio, taking my first class, and LOVING it!! Jon bought me a membership for my birthday, and I have been going 4-5 times a week ever since. I keep telling him -- it's the best present he's ever gotten me!

I know this sounds completely cliche', but yoga has totally changed my life. I am stronger, more toned, more focused, more flexible (I couldn't even touch my toes prior to this!), and MUCH less stressed than I've ever been before! After years of lifting weights (even working with some fantastic trainers in college) I have decided that I will never lift again as long as I can do yoga. I have always had lots of muscle mass on my body, but my muscles were never very defined. Now I am doing something I actually enjoy, and I'm seeing results -- like you can actually see my arm muscles -- I love it! Not that I look perfect, of course, but it's so exciting when you notice a difference from where you started!

In all honesty, I had taken yoga classes before and didn't like them. I thought they were boring and just too challenging for people like me who aren't naturally very flexible. Little did I know that there were other types of yoga out there besides the popular hatha yoga. Now I practice power yoga. We practice in a heated room (@ 95 degrees) and do lots of core work, balancing, arm balances, and inversions -- like headstands, forearm stands, and handstands. It is a great workout and completely fun! The best part is when you accomplish something that you never thought you would be able to do.

Right now, I'm trying to master the forearm stand, and firefly. Of course, my instructors make both look so easy, but I have a feeling it might take a while yet before I can do them:

forearm stand

firefly

Today, I went to my first Hot Yoga class. (I know, like 95 degrees isn't hot enough!!) This is also known as Bikram Yoga, and the studio is heated to around 105 degrees. This type of yoga presented lots of new challenges -- like overcoming the feeling that I was going to pass out from being so hot!! :) I didn't like it as much as power yoga, but I think I'll try it a few more times just to mix things up a bit.

So anyways, this may all sound a bit boring to you, but it has been a passion of mine for the past three months. I really feel like it has been the positive thing in my life while Jon has been away. I look forward to class every day, and it keeps me busy so that I'm not spending every evening alone in an empty house. I would totally recommend this to anyone who is bored or burnt out with their workout routines and looking for a change. I have to warn you, though. Once you try it, you'll be hooked!

You've GOT to be kidding me ...

Who is this woman and WHAT is she thinking?? Have you ever wondered how someone can be so backward in their reasoning? This lady and her little "church" all belong in a nuthouse. Take a look ...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1G470rfJQCI&search=Shirley%20Roper

This might sound completely undemocratic of me, but why in the HELL are people allowed to protest at the funerals of soldiers anyways? 500ft away? How about 500 MILES away! I think it's completely and totally sick that people have such little respect for the families of our fallen soldiers.

I Miss You!

To My Amazing Husband: I miss you...

Thanks USA -- It's a Small World

Some of my favorite emails to read each day are the comments I get from my blog. I just find it so amazing that people actually read this thing and sometimes have something to say about it! Anyways, yesterday I got a comment from a man named Mike Hacker. The comment was to provide information about a great opportunity for military families from an organization called Thanks USA. This organization is offering 1000 scholarships of $5000 to the children and spouses of active duty members of the armed forces. How Cool! Wish I would have known that when I was still paying for my master's degree last year!

Anyways, the wierdest thing is that my family is very good friends with a Mike Hacker and I'm wondering if this is the same one? I have given my blog address out to lots of people, but I don't think my mom or dad would think to send it to the Hacker family. Is it possible that he just found it by surfing the web? If so, I think that's so great! It is such a small world! And Mr. Hacker, if you're reading this, I just want you to know that I would be HONORED to add a Thanks USA link to my list of websites. I will also be sure to pass this information on to my FRG and the school district that I work in.

TomKat and Their Kitten

So I read today in the paper that Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had their baby yesterday (named "Suri"??). And I can't seem to get it out of my mind. I know it is none of my business and I must have a pretty boring life to speculate about celebrities (I literally read People magazine cover to cover while sitting in my car as soon as I retrieve it from my mailbox each week. I know -- sad!) But anyway, more than anything, I've been wondering about Tom's other children, Connor and Isabella, whom he adopted with ex-wife Nicole Kidman. I mean seriously, what would it be like if Tom Cruise was your father, and Nicole Kidman was your mother? And who do they live with anyway? Tom or Nicole? You never hear or see anything about either of them. And every time you see Nicole, she is running around with Keith Urban, looking totally unattached to any children. Hmmmm...... I watched Primetime last weekend where Tom was being interviewed by Diane Sawyer. He sounded so genuinely excited for this baby to come. But really, how much time do you think he'll spend with it when all is said and done? Just random thoughts, of course, but the whole thing totally got me wondering ....

And for something completely ironic -- Brooke Shield's baby was born yesterday also. Wierd!

My Poker Girls

So tonight was the first weekend night in a while that I've actually had something fun to do. My friend, L, from Poker night had free tickets to the opening of a new Art Museum in Colorado Springs. The exhibit on display was centered around American music with photographs by Annie Leibovitz of famous musicians. It was very cool and the atmosphere was a little bit "Sex in the City." After walking through the exhibit, we were led into a bar area where we were served wine (for free!) and got to listen to a live jazz/blues band. I was so glad that I went. Most of our poker night group was there and we were all able to meet up for dinner beforehand. It was the perfect evening.

While we were at the Art Museum, I was talking to a friend's husbands about different places that we would consider moving if we decide to leave the Army next year. He asked me if I was okay with that -- would I be willing to leave a job that I really like? I answered yes, because I guess I always knew our stay here would be temporary. It is funny how you move to a place and have a certain mindset about it. When I moved here, I always knew that it wouldn't be forever, and so I think I've gone into everything a little bit hesitant -- my job, my friendships, getting involved in the community. My "poker night" girlfriends have always been wonderful, but I guess I always thought somehow they would be "temporary" friends, just like my house was temporary, my job is temporary, etc. But lately, I've come to realize that I really love these women. They are much more than just the girls I see once a week.

We started getting together in October of 2003 to watch "The Bachelor" every week. A different person would host each week and make a scruptious dinner for everyone. Then, we would watch the newest epsode together -- we called it our "Bachelorette Night." We made a game out of it and started voting on which girls we thought the bachelor would keep. We all brought small gifts -- like a bottle of nail polish, last week's People magazine, or a Starbuck's gift card. The person who guessed the most women correctly received all of the gifts at the end. It always helped to make things exciting! After several seasons of "The Bachelor" we just couldn't take it anymore. (It was starting to get a little bit cheesy!) So we decided to play poker instead -- Texas Hold 'Em. We still bring our little gifts and play for those instead of money. And we're totally noncompetitive -- clapping and cheering whenever someone wins a hand. Right now Tuesday nights are the best night of the week for me.

These women have supported and encouraged me through so much -- a new marraige, 2 deployments, my first years teaching, all of the times I feel "fat," -- basically anything that is going on in my life. I am so thankful for their friendships and hope that we all can keep in touch long after my time in Colorado Springs comes to an end. Who would have ever thought the Lord would bless me so much through poker?

The ABC's of Me

I saw this on Itzy Bitzy Me's Blog and had to do it. I love these things.

A is for your age: 26
B is for the book you're currently reading: The Devil Wears Prada
C is for career: Teacher
D is for your future dog: A Jack Russell named "Ace" (We totally need a yard first!)
E is for essential items to bring to a party: Wine
F is for your favorite song at the moment: "Held" by Natalie Grant
G is for your favorite game: Mancala
H is for your favorite holiday: Christmas
I is for the instrument you play: Piano and Flute
J is for jam or jelly you like: Radtke Farms Strawberry Peach Jam from home
K is for kids: Can't wait to have 'em
L is for last movie you watched: Far and Away
M is for your major in college: Elementary Education
N is for the name of your first crush: Pat Williams in 3rd Grade
O is for overnight hospital stays: Hopefully my first won't be until I have babies!
P is for phobias: I am always scared that someone is going to break into my house while I'm sleeping.
Q is for quote you like: Isaiah 40:31 "For those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not grow faint."
R is for the relationship you've had that's lasted the longest: My Handsome Husband -- almost 10 years!
S is for how you found out Santa wasn't real: I started to recognize my mom's handwriting on the gift tags.
T is for tasty desserts: Dump Cake or No-Bake Cookies
U is for underwear: I'm totally not saying -- what if one of my students read this?
V is for vegetables you love: corn on the cob grown on the farm down the street from where I grew up.
W is for weekend plans: Dinner and a photography exhibit at the Art Museum on Sat, and an Easter cookout on Sun
X is for x-rays you've had: my wrist in middle school
Y is for year you graduated from high school: 1998
Z is for Zodiac sign: Aquarius

Movies

I spent lots of time this past weekend watching movies -- one of my favorite things to do. I started on Friday night by putting on comfy clothes, fuzzy slippers, and relaxing on the couch underneath my heating blanket. I had an itch to watch Pearl Harbor, which is always so great! I always fast forward through the war stuff and just watch the love story part. I never can decide who I want Evelyn to end up with -- Ben Affleck or Josh Hartnett -- they are both so dreamy in that movie!

Last weekend, I rented Love Comes Softly from the video store. I totally loved it. I grew up watching Little House on the Prairie (my friend, Ally, is ALWAYS teasing me about this.) The Love Comes Sofly trilogy is very similar to this. It's about a woman whose husband dies just after they leave the wagon train and claim their land. Since it's close to winter, and no wagon trains will be leaving to take her back East, a Christian widower offers her a marraige of convenience -- to live with him until Spring and take care of his daughter. I don't want to write anything else about it, just in case anyone wants to watch it. But I really really enjoyed it -- it was just a good, wholesome, feel-good movie. My husband probably wouldn't have liked it one bit -- which is really the only good thing about him being gone -- I can watch as many chick flicks as my heart desires! Anyway, Love Comes Softly is a trilogy. I rented the last two parts of the trilogy this weekend -- Love's Enduring Promise and Love's Long Journey. Both were good, but not as great as the first.

On Saturday, I watched Supersize Me. I'm still not sure how I feel about this movie. Obviously, it was gross watching this guy eat McDonald's three times a day, knowing that his health was deteriorating so quickly. However, I have talked to some people that say they will never again eat fast food after watching that movie. I don't think I'm going to give up fast food for the rest of my life, but it definitely reaffirms my decision to stop at Panera instead of McDonald's after church on Sundays. Do I think that fast food is killing our nation by causing obesity ? -- not really. People choose what kind of restaurants they want to eat at along with how much they'll eat. A person who stops by a fast food restaurant once every week or so is not going to get fat just because of that one meal.

On the other hand -- there was a large segment of the movie that talked about school lunches. This part I totally agreed with! Working in a middle school, I see what my kids eat and it is TOTAL JUNK!! When I was in school, we could pick one of two regular menu choices, or salad bar -- that's it! Nowadays, my students can choose from two regular menu choices, salad, a deli sandwich, fries, burgers, pizza, breadsticks, chips, ice cream bars, sugary drinks -- it is mostly CRAP!! Almost every student in there eats cheese breadsticks and a candy bar for their lunch everyday. Yikes!

On Saturday night, I went to the movies to see Take the Lead. I hadn't been dying to see this or anything, I just wanted to get out of the house (and also have some of that fantastic movie popcorn). I was pleasantly surprised. It is the one with Antonio Banderas teaching kids balroom dancing during their detention. It was pretty entertaining and the crowd was really into it. I was glad that I went to see it.

So despite all the fun I had watching all these movies, I feel like it was a totally unproductive weekend! So next weekend, I've got to have some sort of project to keep me busy and make me feel like I actually accomplished something. I'm thinking of possibly starting my first quilt -- but I'm a little intimidated. I'll let you know what I decide ...

Spring Break

Isn't it amazing how God plans things? The day after receiving the bad news about Jon's orders, I was leaving to fly home to Michigan for Spring Break. He must have known that I would need a little cheering up!

I had been looking forward to Spring Break for a loooong time! As great as it would have been to go somewhere warm, like Mexico or Florida, going home to chilly Michigan was perfect for me! My little, sister, Lauren, flew in the same day as me and my dad picked us up from the airport. This blog will be way too long if I expand on every thing I did. So here are some of the highlights from my trip:

• Watching March Madness and talking a little trash to my 17 year old brother, Eric (See picture below).
• Going shopping at the outlet mall in Michigan City with my mom, my sister, and my mother-in-law.
• Going to church with my family.
• Spending time with my grandparents and my aunts in South Bend.
• Trying to teach my sister yoga in our living room.
• Going out to a fancy restaurant with my in-laws (they always spoil me rotten!)
• Getting to see my friend, Bethany, and her very very cute little boy, "Mr. G"! Bethany was one of my VERY good friends at Fort Carson before they moved. (See picture below)
• Shopping with my mom and sister.
• Going to "The Second City" with my family right before we left. It's an improv club in Chicago -- VERY funny!
• Getting a "Makeover" with my sister. (a.k.a. highlights) (See Before and After shots below).

Here are some photos:

This is a typical shot of my little brother, who usually wants nothing to do with his annoying sisters.

Eric and Lauren

Me and "Mr. G"

THE MAKEOVER

BEFORE: Lauren and I looking pretty ragged.

AFTER: Happy and blonde again!

What Does "WAIT" Mean?

Wow! It's been a while since my last entry. Lots has happened in the past two weeks!

I remember the four-month marker during the last deployment. I think that was right around the time my friend, Katie, and I read in the newspaper that our boys would be gone for a full year! Ouch! It was summertime and after reading the news, Katie and I just sat on the couch -- a little depressed, but assuring one another that we could do this and we'd be there for each other. We did, and we were, and everything turned out just fine.

This deployment's four-month marker was very similar! Let me back up a little. My husband received orders a few weeks ago to attend Special Forces selection. We had been looking forward to this for a while -- since he left in November, actually. For Jon it meant that he would get to try out for something he REALLY wants to do. For me, it meant that my husband would be coming home. For both of us, it meant a possible move this summer to a new post. Although I know better than to get my hopes up when the Army is making decisions about your life -- I did! However, to our disappointment, we found out a little over a week ago that Jon's unit refuses to release him and his orders are being delayed until October. Needless to say, I was very sad!

Over the past few months we have really been praying hard about this -- asking God to make clear what is the best thing for our future. I was certain that a "YES" would mean we were supposed to stay in the Army and a "NO" would mean it was time for us to move on. But what does "WAIT" mean?? I'll have to keep praying on that one. A few weeks ago at the retreat, I attended a workshop on listening to God. Hopefully, I can be a good listener. But just in case, God, could you make things loud and clear??

Despite the disappointment, it has been really exciting to consider some other options that we hadn't thought of before. My head is literally spinning and I am a little bit confused about everything! My husband has been fabulous throughout this -- very encouraging even though he's probably the one who could use the most encouragement. Jon has had a GREAT attitude -- I'm so proud of him! I have to admit that I was very angry with the Army in the beginning. But it's hard to stay mad at them when I know that they really aren't the ones in control -- God is.

Weekend Retreat and a Snow Day

This weekend I went on a women's retreat with my church in Buena Vista. It was a great retreat and the scenery there was gorgeous! It totally reminded me of how amazing God is to have imagined and created so much beauty! The pictures below don't really do justice to the mountains. The snowcaps blend in with the sky. But just to give you an idea where I was ...

(This isn't me ... It's my friend, S.)

I got home Sunday just in time to catch a few of the basketball games before yoga. My teams aren't doing so well. My only comfort is knowing that I'm beating my husband!! :) While I was at yoga, it started thundering and what I assumed was rain at the time began falling on the roof of the studio. It sounded very cool (quite the appropriate background music for a yoga class). When I got out to the car, though, I noticed that it wasn't rain that I had heard, but more like sleet, which eventually became snow. The next morning, I came back from my before-school workout to a surprise message on the answering maching telling me there was no school -- we had a snow day! Hooray! The best thing was that it was only 6:00, and I was already wide awake, so I had the whole day ahead of me! I always love days off of work because I can watch the news in the morning along with "Regis and Kelly" and "The View." Very relaxing!

This work-week will definitely be a short one! Friday I am taking off to leave for Spring Break with my family in Michigan. I'm so excited! March is really flying by!

The Draft

No, I don't mean the military. I'm talking about MARCH MADNESS!!!

Ok, so I'm not a huge college basketball fan. I never watch a game during the regular season. But I always fill out a bracket to make the NCAA tournament exciting (especially after living with a man who watches ESPN 24/7). This year, I filled in my brackets as usual -- one for the "Hall Boy" pool and one for the pool at work. But I also got to do something a little different.

Tonight, one of the women I work with had a draft for a bunch of us girls at work. (I've never done anything like this before!) We all got together at her house, had drinks and appetizers, and drafted teams for the tournament along with individual players for a "fantasy team." Each of us picked 8 different teams and we get paid according to how far they advance in the tournament. For the individual picks, we earn points according to the number of points our players score throughout the tournament.

It was sooooo much fun! I can't wait to see how all of my picks do!

What a Shame ...

Today I sent out progress reports for all of my students who have D's and F's. I used to stress out about this a lot -- I think it's the "First-Born" in me coming out. I always wonder why some kids don't feel the desire or motivation to work hard to reach their potential. What a waste! I mean, I was always working as hard as I could -- never settling for a lower grade when I knew it was possible to get an A. My parents didn't pressure me, I was just intrinsically motivated (okay, maybe more like obsessive). Plus, I just thought that everyone got A's and B's, except for those token slackers who ended up with C's. (That was just my messed up perception of things, though, so if you are someone that got a C -- I don't still believe that you were necessarily a slacker!)

The thing is -- most of the grades that I give out are C's. I give out lots of B's and D's. But only a few A's. (Two, actually, out of 120 kids this quarter). I never realized how many low grades that teachers give out until I became one! Still, every once in a while I stress out about those kids who continually get D's and F's. What is their problem? Can't they just be a liiiiiitle motivated?

Anyways, today as I was addressing envelopes to send home, I had a little chance to think about each kid whose report I was mailing. Most of the addresses I almost know by heart now. The thing is -- I love these kids. I really really do. Most of the time, I am just so angry at their parents! So many of my D and F kids are totally screwed up because of their parents. I mean, seriously messed up -- sick things have happened to some of these kids. Others don't have totally tragic home lives -- just parents that don't seem to care.

Now, I hear all the time how hard it is being a parent, and I totally believe it. Believe me, I'm not arguing that parenting is easy by any means. But if you are going to have kids -- AT LEAST TAKE GOOD CARE OF THEM! Love on them, discipline them at least a little, make sure they have a pencil when they come to school, make sure they COME to school ... I mean, can parenting be THAT hard that you can't even make your child go to school? It's just such a shame! These kids whose lives are going nowhere, no matter what their teachers do!! It's just so discouraging sometimes. If I wasn't so non-confrontational, I might even give a few of these lousy parents a piece of my mind!

Instead, though, I'm resigned to just try and love on their kid for the 60 minutes I see them each day, hoping that somehow I can make up a little bit for the crappy life they have at home. What a shame ...

The Trouble With Barnes and Noble

I LOOOOOVVVVEEE going to Barnes and Noble! There is nothing like being surrounded by thousands of new books! But each time I walk in there, I'm presented with a distressing dilemma -- which book to buy! I don't like to buy more than one at a time usually, because one of my favorite things is finishing one book and going back to the bookstore to find another one. (I know that my husband is reading this right now and thinking, "I can't believe that I married such a bookworm!") Today I settled on Oprah's newest pick: Night by Elie Weisel. It is a nonfiction book about a man's experience in concentration camps. I'm already about halfway through it. But since I had to leave some others behind, I decided to start a list of books that I want to read next...

Books I Want to Read

The Plot Against America by Philip Roth

The Known World by Edward P. Jones

Forever by Pete Hamill

Vanishing Acts by Jodi Picoult

Wicked by Gregory Maguire

Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

The Devil Wears Prada by Lauren Weisberger

The Glass Castle by Jeannette Walls

A Rose for the Crown by Anne Easter Smith


And in case you are a reader like me, I thought I'd also share some of the books that I've really loved!

Books I've Loved

The Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown

Angels and Demons by Dan Brown

Plain Truth by Jodi Picoult

The Pact by Jodi Picoult

My Sister's Keeper by Jodi Picoult

The Other Boleyn Girl by Philippa Gregory

The Pilot's Wife by Anita Shreve

Redeeming Love by Francine Rivers

The "Mark of the Lion" Series by Francine Rivers

The Red Tent by Anita Diamant

Cane River by Lalita Tademy

The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver

A Perfect Weekend

So after a few kind of lousy, lonely weekends, this one was perfect!

On Friday night I went out with two of Jon's good friends from West Point, Dan ... aka "Danimal," and Barry. Dan was Jon's roomate for two years and became a great friend to both of us. He actually bought the townhome right across from ours and rented a room out to Barry, so they were also our neighbors for two years before Dan left for Korea and Barry left for a second tour to Iraq. Both just returned and it was so great to catch up with them! To be honest, I was a little nervous to go out with them without Jon, but they were just so fantastic and we had great conversation!

Saturday was the most relaxing day I've had in a LOOOONG time. Despite my ambitious "to do" list, my booty hardly left the couch all day except to go the bathroom! I literally rolled out of bed and into some sweats, layed on the couch, and finished watching the final season of Felicity. Then I fooled around with my iPod, took a long bubble bath, and made a quick trip to Target for a new bathroom scale (I didn't like what our old one was saying!) I ended the day all cozied up in bed, watching "Blue Collar Comedy Tour Rides Again." If you have never seen the Blue Collar Comedy DVD's you are TOTALLY missing out! They are hilarious. On Wednesday night at Bible Study, we talked about how we run ourselves ragged trying to stay busy, and how perpetual activity is not God's will for our lives. That is so right! A day of total rest is exactly what I needed to feel refreshed and ready to start my next week!

I also got to talk to Jon on Saturday. We had a great conversation! I am still on cloud nine from it! Anyone who has been through a long distance relationship can tell you that not every phone conversation is as wonderful as you would like it to be. There are so many expectations associated with talking to the one you love on the phone -- especially when it's only once or twice a week! But this one was just perfect. I just love the man that I married. He is such a good husband to me! I know I've said it before, but I'm just so proud to be his wife!! To think that I used to sit in front of him in math class in 6th grade -- he was such an immature little twerp! But he's grown into such a responsible, honorable, and loving man! (I hope I'm not making any of you nauseous -- but it's just how I feel!)

So anyways -- back to the weekend. Today was actually a bit more productive than yesterday, but not by much. I got up early, worked out, and went to church. After church I stopped at one of my FAVORITE places -- Barnes and Noble!! Sometimes there is no better place to be than in a big comfy chair, with a latte and a bunch of new books. On my way home it started to snow. I got my hopes up for like two seconds that we wouldn't have school tomorrow, but alas, nothing stuck. I made my way to yoga class, which is always a great way to start the week, and then got home just in time for a good cry with "Extreme Home Makeover."

My cup runneth over ...

No More Complaints

I will never complain again about doing my grocery shopping at the Commissary.

I just got home from Walmart ... UGGGHHH!!

Other than the occasional dash into the corner grocery for something I desperately need, I never buy our groceries anywhere except for the commissary. Everywhere else is just too dang expensive. I have been known to complain sometimes about the poor quality of the commissary's produce, the long lines, and the NARROW aisles. However, today I had to stop at Walmart after school to look for a fake nose ring, which is totally wierd in itself -- I have to dress up like a rock star tomorrow for school (who knows -- maybe I'll even post a few pictures). So anyway -- I thought that instead of making another trip to the store, I would just buy my groceries there. What a zoo!

Although you get at least an extra two feet of aisle space, it's totally not worth it. The prices (although probably low for the civilian world) are still more expensive than the commissary. Shoppers don't have any aisle ettiquette -- no one seems to understand the flow of traffic. The lines are SOOOOO LONG, there is nowhere to park, ... basically I just really didn't like it. :)

So from now on, no more complaints about our dear little commissary.

While I'm Being Sappy ...

Ok, so as long as I'm being so sentimental -- I wanted to share this poem that I found in Chicken Soup for the Military Wife's Soul. Not everything in it relates to us at this point in our lives. But I thought it was so beautiful and poignant. It's written by a woman named Donna Porter...

You Didn't Tell Me

You told me about the long shifts, the days and nights.

You told me about the commanders and their lovely wives.

You told me about the chain of command, and how I would live by it.

But you didn't tell me how proud of you I would be.

You told me about the temporary duty and the many moves.

You told me about the overseas tours.

You told me about payday and how we would stretch the dollar.

You didn't tell me abou the honor I would feel.

You told me about the wives' clubs and family support.

You told me about Tricare.

You told me about base housing, and how no two are alike.

You didn't tell me that at the start of "God Bless the USA" I would shed not one, but many tears.

You told me about how Christmas would be in Germany.

You told me about the commissary and PX.

You told me we would need many sets of curtains.

You didn't tell me how our children would look up to you, and want to be like Dad.

You told me about the hard times and how we would have many.

You told me abou the stress of being a military spouse.

You told me sometimes I would be a single parent, and that in spirit you would be with me.

But you didn't tell me that when I saw your uniform in the laundry, I would swell with respect.

You didn't tell me how much of a part the military would play in our lives and how I would never want it any other way!

Sappy Saturday

So -- today I started crying in Starbucks. How TOTALLY embarrassing! It was a beautiful day and it's been a great week. I sat in a table by the window, with my nonfat caffe' mocha (which I've become a little addicted to over the past few weeks), feeling the warm sun on my skin and looking out at the gorgeous mountains while I did my bible study. Maybe I was just tired, I don't know. But the tears just started coming.

I just kept thinking about how much I wished that Jon was here. Then I started thinking about how the reason I'm living here right now is to be with Jon -- and he's not even here. Now don't get me wrong -- I would follow this man to the ends of the earth. He is the love of my life. And it's not like I don't appreciate the beauty of this state and all that it has to offer. But what I would give to be living around family right now -- people that I love and who love me!!! I mean, the only reason that I'm still here while Jon is gone is because I have a job with 120 kids counting on me everyday.

Then I started thinking about the different ways our life could be changing in the next year. Some of you know that we are waiting to hear about a career change for Jon within the Army. Ultimately, this will determine whether or not we will stay in the Army. Now, until this year, I've been pretty gung-ho about being a "lifer." But now, everyday it seems that I go back and forth. One day I really want Jon to be able to take advantage of this opportunity -- I know it's something he really wants and he would be really good at. And it would be a new adventure for us. Plus we would have the security of the Army. And we still have so many things we want to do in the Army -- places we want to go -- things we want to experience. Then the next day I wonder if this is the life I really want for the next 16 years. Do I really want to be apart from my husband for probably half of that time? Will it be worth it? Do I want to voluntarily be a "single mom" once kids come and Jon is deployed? My comfort comes in knowing that the LORD already has things planned for us. He knows what's best for us and He'll make whatever that is happen -- despite all my worrying.

So after a short drive home and a few more tears, I decided it was time to stop feeling sorry for myself. And I did what every neurotic women does when they're feeling a little down -- cleaned my house! Then I lighted my tart burner and popped in a Macintosh Peach candle -- there's no better scent to cheer you up -- and watched the next DVD in season 4 of "Felicity." What a totally Sappy Saturday!

My First Welcome Home

During the past few weeks, Fort Carson has been busy welcoming soldiers from the 3rd ACR home from their 2nd year-long deployment in Iraq. I am so excited for these families! My best friend Katie will be welcoming her husband home this weekend (FINALLY!! -- Yeah Katie!), and many of my students have parents coming back also. I was going to save this post until right before I welcomed Jon home for the second time, but in light of all of these happy reunions, I thought now would be a good time to reminisce about my first welcome home ceremony!

I remember it like it was yesterday. The timing of Jon's return home couldn't have been better! He arrived on a Friday night -- my last day of work before Spring Break began! I am so thankful that I had to work all of that day. I would have been a mess otherwise! We only had a half-day with our students and I can remember sitting outside and talking to my friends from work while we waited for them to get on the bus to go home. Each of my friends gave a little bit of advice and helped to calm my nerves! During his first time over there, Jon wasn't able to leave for R and R, so I literally hadn't set eyes on him for a year!!

I'd had my dress laid out for days and my poster ready to go. My "Bachelor" friends (the women I watched "The Bachelor" each week with) gathered at Katie's house for a glass of wine, then drove with me to the special events center on post (it's basically just a big gym). They came for a few reasons I think -- to support me, to experience a welcome home ceremony, and to take pictures!!

We arrived around 6:00, since we heard that the soldiers would be coming around 7:00. I was meeting another Army wife there, Lana, whose husband was also arriving home. However, once we arrived, we were informed that the men wouldn't be coming until closer to 9:00. We had prime seats, and didn't want to give them up, so we decided to stay and made the time pass by reading the latest issues of People Magazine and US Weekly. I think I must have gone to the bathroom to check my hair at least 13 times in those three hours! It felt like an eternity!! The only other time I have felt so anxious was during the three hours before I walked down the aisle at my wedding!

While we waited, we continued to get updates on where the guys were -- landing at the nearby air force base, on their way to Fort Carson, inside the gates, etc... Finally, we were informed that the guys were waiting just outside the doors!! In the meantime, Jon and the other soldiers were being told not to expect much of a welcome home (boy were they surprised!!!).

What seemed like hours later, the doors of the gym opened just as Toby Kieth's "Courtesy of the Red, White, and Blue" began playing. The jam-packed special events center went CRAZY!!! Actually, that is a total understatement.

I can't even give justice to the feelings that I had while the guys paraded into the gym. I have NEVER before experienced such an intense sense of pride or love. These feelings were completely overwhelming -- the best I've ever experienced! I held up my sign, screaming my lungs out, while tears streamed down my face. My Jonny Angel was finally home!

Or was he??? All of those soldiers looked identical in their DCUs and big kevlars (their helmets)! For the life of me, I couldn't find Jon! After the national anthem and a few words from various commanders, the men were dismissed and families literally poured out from the stands! I still couldn't find my Jon!! Luckily, he had spotted me right off the bat, so he was able to find me!

My eyes are open just to make sure I'm not dreaming!!

All I can remember from that moment is how he looked just the same as always. He felt and smelled the same as always. This really was my husband!! After lots of hugs and kisses, we left the gym and made our way home. I think CaliValley Girl says it best:

"after the whole hoopla, you get home, sit on the sofa and chit chat about the most normal things, and realize that nothing has changed. It was like he never left."

I will never forget that evening -- probably the longest hours of my life! But the feelings of love and pride I felt for my husband at the end made the entire year apart worth it. I already can't wait for the next one!

Projects

Yeah!! I'm feeling so much better since my last post. Just when I said that I needed a new project to keep me busy, I got one! One of my friends from poker night was trying to get rid of her double bed because they were getting a new one. We only had a twin in our guest room and have always wanted something bigger, so I told her I'd take it. The best part was that it was free and I got a chance to do a tiny bit of redecorating! Well, several dollars and an entire weekend of shopping later, I got our new guest bed finished for now.

Doing this totally brought back memories of last time Jon was deployed. We had just bought our townhome and it was newly built. It was like a blank slate. All of our walls were white. We had no window coverings and barely any furniture. That year I kept SO busy decorating until my heart was content!

Jon also gave me a project to work on. He needed a new fleece blanket, so I was happy to put that together for him!

I was stunned today by the funeral procession for one of Colorado Springs' police officers that was killed this past week. As I sat in my car on the way to yoga, I noticed that the traffic was MUCH heavier than usual -- gradually slowing to a standstill. Then I started to see a few police cars flying by with their lights going. At first I wondered what was going on -- terrible traffic and then all of these police cars -- I thought there must have been a horrible accident. But then the police cars didn't stop. And I noticed that people were out on the streets everywhere watching. Then I remembered they were having the funeral for the policeman that was killed. You might think that I'm exaggerating -- but there had to be at least 300 police cars that went by like that with their lights on in parade fashion. I was very moved and sat in my car praying for the spouse he left behind.

However, I know this sounds terrible, but I started to compare the way they handled this hero's death with the way they handle the death of the soldiers that are posted here. This man's death has been all over the news and radio. It has been SUCH a huge deal. They even said on the news tonight that watching this procession was like watching a funeral procession for a president. However, when a soldier dies here, he is barely mentioned. It really kind of infuriated me. Not that this policeman didn't deserve such a grand goodbye. I just feel like every hero that works to serve and protect us deserves something like this. Especially our soldiers who are put in harm's way every day of their deployment. Of course -- I might be a little biased ...

Three Month Slump

I have so enjoyed reading others' blogs lately. Some people are such great writers and are able to voice their thoughts and opinions so elegantly through words. If you haven't visited "Learning to Live" or "Trying to Grok" yet, you really should. I found them linked to a friend's blog and I've been reading them ever since. I will never be able to express myself as clearly as these women, but I'll do my best!

Since I said goodbye to little sis this past weekend, I've been going through a major slump! Time seemed to be going by so fast at first, but this last month has just DRAGGED on! (And it's the shortest month of the year!) As of next Tuesday, Jon will have been gone for 3 months. Now I can look at this one of two ways: If I'm feeling optimistic, I concentrate on the fact that we are already 1/4 of the way through this deployment. If I'm feeling like a Negative Nancy (which I have been lately!) I remember that we've still got 9 months to go -- an eternity! I could get pregnant and give birth to a baby in that amount of time!!

For some reason, the first deployment was just easier than this one. I was able to spend the first four months of it with my family before I moved out to Colorado Springs to start my teaching job. Once I got here, I was blessed by the friendship of an amazing little group of Army wives -- my Fort Carson Family! (I will tell you more about these beautiful women later -- I think I'll start crying if I do right now!) Needless to say, each one of them has moved during the past year, and I am the only one left until Miss Sally gets back from her extended stay with her parents.

Earlier this week, I searched through Jon's side of the closet trying to find his smell in some of his clothes, but it's all gone. So I came up with a fabulous idea. I took one of his undershirts and used it to cover one of my pillows like a pillowcase. Of course, the whole point was to snuggle with something that smelled like him, so my plan was to spray the shirt with his cologne -- but I couldn't find it anywhere! So I got desperate. There was an extra stick of his Old Spice underneath the bathroom sink, so I just wiped that all over the shirt. I know, I know -- kind of wierd -- but it smells just like him! I love it!

So maybe I just need a new project to occupy my thoughts, a new book to read, or a fun trip to plan. In any case, I think it's time for a little attitude adjustment.

Thanks for listening to me whine. I promise not to make a habit of it. :)

A Day with My Sister!

I haven't posted anything in a few weeks for a few reasons. First of all, I've been SOOO busy! Secondly, nothing has happened! Ok, so I know that sounds totally contradictory. Maybe I should just say, nothing INTERESTING has happened. Who knew that everyday in the real world would be mostly the same as the last one! Get up, work out, shower, go to work, keep working or go to yoga, stop at Starbucks on the way home to do my Bible study lesson, come home, eat dinner, sleep, get up, work out, shower ...

I finally had a little bit of excitement this weekend, though! My little sister, Lauren, and her boyfriend Daniel came to visit me for a day! Lauren recently decided to move from Sacramento, where she was working for Whirlpool, to Atlanta, where I'm sure she'll find another great job. More importantly, though, she will get to live near Daniel and her friends from UGA! I'm so happy for her! Anyways, she and Daniel stopped in Colorado Springs while they were driving across the country. What a treat for me!

The two of them arrived late Friday night, so we just ordered a pizza, visited, and watched a movie. The next day was so cold!! It was only about 6 degrees outside, so we had to stay in all day, but we had so much fun spending time together! We watched movies, played scattegories, then went to a movie and out to a local brewery for dinner. Early Sunday morning they had to leave, even though I begged them to stay for just one more day! The two of them are such great company -- so laid back and fun to be with. All I could think about the whole time they were here was how great it would be to live closer to them! As of right now, they are still on their way to Atlanta. I miss them already!

Lauren and Daniel (aren't they so cute!!)

I've Been Tagged!!

I was tagged!! Okay, so before I start, I just have to tell a teeny tiny story. When I was taking composition in high school, we had to keep a journal that we wrote in every day. This journal didn't really tell so much about what was going on in our lives. It was basically just a collection of things that told who we were. That's what this reminds me of ...

4 Jobs you have had in your life
1. My first job was the summer before my junior year in college. I worked in the bag room at one of the country clubs at home. This basically involved helping people get ready to golf and then cleaning their clubs when they were finished. Oh yeah -- and I had to drive the cart that picks up all the balls on the driving range. It was great target practice for the members!
2. Waitress
3. 7th Grade Math Teacher
4. Basketball and Volleyball Coach

4 Movies you would watch over and over (I LOOOOVE MOVIES!!!)
1. The Sound of Music
2. Gone With The Wind
3. Anne of Green Gables
4. It's a tie!! Grease, The Notebook

4 Places you have been on vacation
1. Florida
2. Honolulu (Okay, so I'm not sure if this counts. I was really there to play volleyball when I was at TCU, but we did have a little vacation time ...)
3. On an Eastern Carribbean Cruise (St. Thomas, St. Maarten, St. Lucia, Antigua, Barbados)
4. I haven't been anywhere else!!!

4 Favorite Foods
1. Nachos
2. Ice Cream
3. Mashed Potatos and Gravy
4. Soup

4 Websites you visit daily
1. USAA
2. Hotmail for email
3. Expedia.com (I have dreams of traveling!)
4. Fandango.com

4 Places you would rather be right now
1. Michigan with my mom, dad, and Eric (my brother)
2. Barcelona with my sister, Katherine
3. Sacramento with my sister, Lauren
4. On a tropical beach with Jon and some frozen margaritas!!

4 People I Tag...I don't have any other friends with blogs, so I don't have anyone to tag yet! :)

Reflection on Life as an Army Wife

Yesterday morning, the women's ministry team at my church put on a Valentine's Tea. It was great to spend the morning talking with old friends and making new ones. However, something that one woman said to me started to make me think.

I was talking to this lady that I hadn't met before, and we were in the process of introducing ourselves and getting to know each other a little bit. It soon came up that my husband was in the military and deployed to Iraq. The woman's first question was how long he would be gone. I proceeded to answer like I always do -- "I'm not quite sure -- probably a year at the most," and she proceeded to comment (like most do) "I could never do that. I don't know how you do it." Now, when people say this to me, I always respond in the same way -- "Yes, you could do it. If you were really put in the situation where something like this happened -- you could do it and you would get through it." But then she said, "No I couldn't. I love my husband. I actually like living with him way too much to send him away like that."

Okay, so in this woman's defense, I'm sure she didn't mean anything by her comment, but it really made me kind of upset. The fact that I can go on living when my husband is away doesn't mean that I don't love him. In fact, I love him very very much. I am not afraid to step aside while he leaves to serve our country. I know that there are worse things in life than a deployment. And even though life in the military is certainly difficult at times, at this point in my life, I love being an Army wife. I thought I would share with you some reasons why:

1. Welcome Home Ceremonies
2. Love letters from the field
3. The incredible bond I have with other Army wives -- just because we are going through the same thing
4. Free Health Care -- I can go to the doctor, walk right across the hall to pick up my prescription, and never have to pay a thing
5. Cheap groceries
6. Wive's Coffees
7. Knowing we won't be in the same place, doing the same things forever
8. Having a husband who comes home from work happy
9. Being able to see my handsome husband all dressed up in his dress blues (WOW!!)
10. Hail and Farewells
11. Learning about the Army -- it's lingo, posts, policies, history
12. Getting saluted sometimes when I drive through the gate on post.
13. The enormous sense of pride I have for my husband.

So these were just a few of the things I thought of when I was driving home from the tea yesterday. I also thought about how lucky I am to have a God that gives me strength and hope. When I first married Jon, my second cousin, Stephanie, sent me the Army Wives' Prayer. What a blessing:

"Dear Lord,

Give me greatness of heart to see, the difference between duty and his love for me.

Give me understanding that I may know, when duty calls him he must go.

Give me a task to do each day, to fill the time when he's away.

And Lord, when he's in a foreign land, keep him safe in your loving hand.

And Lord, when duty is in the field, please protect him and be his shield.

And Lord, when deployment is so long, please stay with me and keep me strong.

Amen."