Today I sent out progress reports for all of my students who have D's and F's. I used to stress out about this a lot -- I think it's the "First-Born" in me coming out. I always wonder why some kids don't feel the desire or motivation to work hard to reach their potential. What a waste! I mean, I was always working as hard as I could -- never settling for a lower grade when I knew it was possible to get an A. My parents didn't pressure me, I was just intrinsically motivated (okay, maybe more like obsessive). Plus, I just thought that everyone got A's and B's, except for those token slackers who ended up with C's. (That was just my messed up perception of things, though, so if you are someone that got a C -- I don't still believe that you were necessarily a slacker!)
The thing is -- most of the grades that I give out are C's. I give out lots of B's and D's. But only a few A's. (Two, actually, out of 120 kids this quarter). I never realized how many low grades that teachers give out until I became one! Still, every once in a while I stress out about those kids who continually get D's and F's. What is their problem? Can't they just be a liiiiiitle motivated?
Anyways, today as I was addressing envelopes to send home, I had a little chance to think about each kid whose report I was mailing. Most of the addresses I almost know by heart now. The thing is -- I love these kids. I really really do. Most of the time, I am just so angry at their parents! So many of my D and F kids are totally screwed up because of their parents. I mean, seriously messed up -- sick things have happened to some of these kids. Others don't have totally tragic home lives -- just parents that don't seem to care.
Now, I hear all the time how hard it is being a parent, and I totally believe it. Believe me, I'm not arguing that parenting is easy by any means. But if you are going to have kids -- AT LEAST TAKE GOOD CARE OF THEM! Love on them, discipline them at least a little, make sure they have a pencil when they come to school, make sure they COME to school ... I mean, can parenting be THAT hard that you can't even make your child go to school? It's just such a shame! These kids whose lives are going nowhere, no matter what their teachers do!! It's just so discouraging sometimes. If I wasn't so non-confrontational, I might even give a few of these lousy parents a piece of my mind!
Instead, though, I'm resigned to just try and love on their kid for the 60 minutes I see them each day, hoping that somehow I can make up a little bit for the crappy life they have at home. What a shame ...
2 comments:
My sister-in-law is a teacher and some of the stories she tells me make me want to cry. Like the kid who came to school with sores all up his arms, and no lunch money, and when she called his parents in, they arrived in a new car. So it wasn't like they were lacking any money...just any real desire to be good parents. And you just want to cry for these kids, who are going to be so screwed up, and never know the comforts of a real home and the support of a family.
It really shocks me when I hear these stories, because I think: in America? No ways! Perhaps in some 3rd world country or something...but not America. There is really no excuse, but somehow people manage to just ruin things. It's so depressing.
Anyways...I am glad that you are stingy with the A's. It will prepare them better for the harsh reality of life after school. And I have loads of respect for you that you are a teacher...it's a very admirable job!
It is sad. Like I've thought and read so many times, we need a license to do just about everything besides being a parent. Reading your post made me grateful (again) that I grew up with responsible parents who challenged me and provided me with the tools to succeed. As is evidenced by your experiences, these are things not every child is privy to...but should be.
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