Still Obsessed With My Little One

I hope you all had a fantastic 4th of July! What a perfect opportunity to spend time with family and, of course, eat lots of yummy food! Jon's parents came yesterday to spend the holiday with us. My mother-in-law was so good to me -- she brought along all of the food and she and Jon got everything ready so that I didn't have to lift a finger! Wonderful!

Yesterday morning was my first opportunity to get out of the house since Tanner was born. Where did I go? Starbucks, of course. I was anxious to have a little bit of time to myself, but honestly, I didn't enjoy one minute of it. I missed my little boy the whole time (and I was only gone for an hour) and spent the whole time thinking of him. When I got home, he was still sleeping, just like he was when I left. I'm so silly to have separation anxiety like that!

Last night, I broke down and tried the pacifier again. It's one thing to nurse your baby for nourishment (I LOVE it!) and quite another to be his human pacifier. I couldn't take it anymore. Especially with everyone home and wanting to hold him, he kept waking up and acting like he needed to be fed every half hour. Finally, I got out the pacifier and held it in his mouth until he took it. It totally broke my heart. I don't know why. I'm not against using them -- I think I just felt a little sad knowing that something else was soothing him other than me. Anyways, it worked and he was able to be awake AND content at the same time. Now I'm just going to have to buy about 100 of them to make sure I have one with me all the time.

This morning we went for a little walk and then to Tanner's first doctor's appointment. He did SO good! What a relief! (The pacifier was a godsend!) He has already gained back most of his weight -- he was 7lbs 6oz. I feel like I can finally relax a little and know that all this nursing is working to help my little boy grow big and strong. He still has a tiny bit of jaundice, but the doctor said not to worry about it. I was so proud of him by the time we left. I told him that if he was just a little bigger, I would take him for ice cream because he did so good. I guess Daddy will just have to take ME for ice cream tonight instead. It will eventually make it's way to Tanner's tummy -- right?? :)

I can't believe he is already 6 days old! I am already torn between wanting him to grow nice and big and wanting him to stay just the way he is. I am constantly surprised by the strength of my feelings for him. Motherhood is no joke. I always wondered as a teacher if you felt different about kids when they were your own. Now, as a mother, I would say -- Ummm YEAH -- COMPLETELY different!



Not much else is going on here. Hope you enjoy these pics from the past few days.

Our little slugger. We put socks on his hands so he wouldn't scratch himself.

Wardrobe compliments of Uncle Patrick, who tried to talk us into naming him "Knute" after Knute Rockney.

"Are you SERIOUS??" This is how he looks when you wake him up to feed him.