Don't you just want to rock him to sleep every night?And soak up every little cuddle, every smile and sigh?
Well, I do.
Which is why we have a problem, folks. It is time. Time to put my baby to bed drowsy, but awake. Time to let him soothe himself to sleep. If it was left up to me, I would let him sleep in my arms all night. But truly, that's probably not healthy for me, or him. Plus, I have another child to put to bed, too! So endless rocking and soothing just isn't possible. Right now, I usually nurse him right before bed, and he falls asleep while he's eating. Then, I carefully put him in his crib. This was perfect until about 2 weeks ago. Now, as soon as I lay him down in his crib, he starts crying. It never fails. So, I'm trying to let him cry himself to sleep. And it stinks. He just gets SO mad and worked up and screams and screams -- which I could probably get through if I just turned my monitor off, took a shower, kept myself busy with other things. But he gets so upset that he throws up. Which makes me feel TERRIBLE and SAD and also means that I have to change his sheet and his pajamas.
So, what should I do? Do I stick with it? Or do I wait a few more weeks/months and try again? Either way I feel like a terrible mom when it comes to bedtime. I don't remember feeling this bad when it was time to let Tanner cry it out. Then again, he never made himself vomit in the process. Any advice?
7 comments:
UGH! I remember doing it with Rylee and hating every minute of it :( And i am already dreading having to do it again in the near future with the little guy. My advice is to stick to it, as hard as it is. It is easier to do when they are on the younger side rather than down the road when they are more aware. he will get used to it and it will be SO WORTH it when he can put himself to sleep in his crib. They say it really should only take 3 days. And i know it is hard not to feel like you are a terrible mom...but you aren't! You are doing what is best for both of you in the end...remember that. It is just so hard in the meantime. I feel for you...good luck!!!
Honestly I feel like whatever you feel is best is what will work best for your family. You are a great mom! So much so that I have no advice to offer, you are a stong mamma, you know what's best for your boys. By the way, I do have a question about your baby monitor. I remember in an earlier post you said that it's a video monitor and it has multiple channels so it works for kids in different rooms. Can you tell me what brand and type of monitor it is? Thanks! Laurie (laurieleiva@msn.com)
I agree that you have to do what works and that's going to look different for every family. Our #2 T was much more snuggly and physical than #1, so he took a lot longer to train for sleeping. I think he legitimately missed me when I left his room--such a people guy!
I would let him cry and return to soothe with a wordless hug and then leave again. You could try this so that he doesn't get so worked up and vomit. You'll probably find, though, that he'll launch right back into the tears once you leave. Return to soothe as necessary. Eventually, reduce the frequency of your soothes.
Perhaps you could introduce a little snuggly animal that he could begin to attach to? J has a little "baby" that he *loves* and is essential for him calming down. Also, don't forget pacifiers. M didn't take one until 4 mos. and then I willed it on him, but it helped!!
Lots of prayers--this is SO hard!!
I think it was about this time that we switched from the swaddle wrap to the sleep sack. he didn't want to be swaddled anymore, but I think the sleep slack gave him some comfort. We also noticed that he was in there (thanks to the video monitor) rubbing his hands together while he was trying to go to sleep. So, we gave him a little blankie to hold on to and that worked great! He still sleeps with it. It was a taggie type blanket, small though.
We also did things similar to B-mama (going to soothe him after a specified amount of time, etc).
Good luck!
Carolina Girl
I don't actually know you but I come to your blog by way of Itzy Bitzy Me. I LOVE reading your blog. I love your honesty and your real life scenarios and that you aren't afraid to say this is how it is for me right now.
I don't know what to tell you to do. We tried crying it out with my son early on-around two months because people were telling me to do it-and it was so traumatic that I didn't try again until he was about five months. It worked better then but he never threw up. That really throws a wrench in things. However, I will say that you are an AMAZING mom-from what I can see on your blog anyway-and that little Landon adores you. What I would always remind myself of when I was in the middle of cry it out was his smiling face when he wakes up every morning. He didn't remember crying at all! It took awhile though. People kept saying it should only be a few days and he would be no problem. Nope, it took us several weeks. That makes it harder but in the end he now goes down to sleep with no problem, usually! Teething, as you know I'm sure, is another wrench! ha!
I think that's every parents worst time! There's nothing worse than a screaming baby that you are holding yourself back from soothing :-( I agree with most of the other comments -- I was going to say to do something a little more gradual. Maybe do a little online research and try and find a strategy where maybe he won't get so worked up and get sick... poor guy! But once he's sleeping all on his own you'll be so happy :-) Until then... Good luck!!
I was told by a doc,that you could go in and rub his back for a while, but don't pick him up. Then slowly ween him from your touch, go in so he can see your there.
Hang in there I know how hard it is to listen to them cry. Do what you feel is right.
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