Two days after we got home from Atlanta, we were off on another trip to find a house. We had been really looking forward to this and had several homes picked out to look at. Unfortunately, we were not aware that most of these homes were in a not-so-nice neighborhood. After looking at 20 houses the first day and finding several that we liked, we asked our realtor to drive us to the train station. Once we were out of the subdivisions and seeing the town we were in, we were not happy! So the next day, we looked at about 20 more homes in another town (which we liked SO much better). However, we didn't find any houses that we were in love with, so we've decided to just get an apartment for the first few months in our new location. I know this is what's best, but I am just itching to start nesting in my next home (specifically painting and decorating a nursery for our little T). I guess I will have to put this off for a while. Jon has been such a good leader for our little family -- making important decisions and really researching things thoroughly -- I know that he's right in this.
We got back on Saturday night and Jon started complaining about chest pains as soon as we got in the car to drive home from the airport. Of course, I wrote this off as either heartburn or stress and he agreed it was probably one or the other. On Sunday morning, he woke up still complaining of severe chest pains and also saying it was hard to breath. We went to the emergency room and spent about 4 hours there getting tests done and all of that. I feel so bad now that I think about it. I gave him SUCH a hard time about being dramatic and I couldn't stop giggling about all of his antics. (I know -- not very indicative of being a good mother!) But anyone who is married knows what their husband acts like when he's not sick or feeling good -- basically like he's dying. And my husband has to be the best at having this skill mastered.
As he was laying in the bed in the ER, he was hooked up to all of these machines tracking his heartrate and blood pressure. At one point he was like -- "Oh my God, Rachel, there is really something wrong! My arm is starting to really hurt!" (his blood pressure was being taken and he hadn't yet realized it.) "All I want to do is live to meet my son!" (he then hears the monitor beep -- it does this every few minutes) "Oh my God, I'm flat-lining! Rachel -- I'm flat-lining -- call the doctor!" I mean, it was just too much -- I was almost rolling on the floor I was laughing so hard! Isn't that terrible!
Anyways, they couldn't figure out what was wrong with him, so they sent him home with a painkiller. I brought him home and got him situated in bed and he just started getting worse and worse. He started getting really pale and could hardly move. I started getting really scared and worried. We talked about going back to the ER and he told me I should call 911 because he didn't think he could make it to the car. Of course, I thought he was just being overly dramatic again with the whole 911 thing. I went to get the car ready and as I came back to get him, he started vomiting and shaking and just collapsed in his vomit. It was so scary and I actually did call 911 this time. They took us to another hospital in town (not the Army hospital we originally went to). Thank goodness! They took SO MUCH better care of us! They were so thorough and did just about every test there is to figure out what was wrong with him! Finally, they told us that he has something called Periocarditis -- it's basically inflammation of the sac around the heart and can be VERY painful. My poor guy! He has been taking it easy since then and will be going to the cardiologist this week for a follow-up. What a day that was! I'm just so thankful he wasn't having a heart-attack or something like that!
As for me, I've been feeling really good. I'm officially in my third trimester -- YAY!! Only about 11 weeks to go. I can't believe I'm going to be a MOM in just a few months! What an overwhelming feeling! I am so excited and scared all at the same time. I can't wait until they hand me my tiny, sweet-smelling little boy with his arms and legs still all curled up from being cuddled in my tummy all this time! I can't wait to cover him with kisses and just love on him. I'm so excited to see what he looks like and to watch his little personality develop. I really can't wait to see Jon with him. I truly think that he is going to be THE BEST dad! I'm so lucky to have married someone so wonderful and so excited about having kids! I'm terrified that I won't know what to do once I bring that baby home. I'm scared of what it will be like to be sleep deprived. I'm scared that I will make some bad decision in parenting and that my sweet little boy will turn out like some of the rough kids I teach. I'm scared that I'll never lose this pregnancy weight. I'm scared that I won't make any friends in my new town and that I'll be starved for adult interaction. I could go on and on.
2 comments:
Hi, I don't actually know you. I'm a friend of Nicole's and stop by your blog from time to time through hers. I especially started stopping by when I found out you were pregnant, because my husband and I were trying and I was excited to see someone going through what I hoped to go through soon!
It has been really neat to watch your journey and to see how excited you are to have your little one. I was reading about all of your fears, and I think they are fears that all first time moms have.
I think that you already love your little guy so much. I can see from the way you talk about him! Plus, your guy has the benefit of having two amazing parents that will both be there for him. I'm a teacher as well, and I have seen a difference in the kids that have both parents in their lives in an active manner. Don't you think so?
I just wanted to say best wishes to you and I hope that your last three months are a wonderful blessing and that you guys have so much joy in your lives in the form of your little miracle. Blessings to you!
Rachel,
You are so loving, caring, kind, patient...the list goes on. Whether you know it at the time or not, these are all traits that your son will see in you as you raise him. Motherhood is a job done on instinct, and there really are very few black and white areas. You will be a wonderful mommy - you already are!
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