Inspiration

I can't stop thinking (and worrying, and crying) about the upcoming decision we have to make about whether or not to stay in the Army. Originally, Jon said that he wanted to either try Special Forces or get out. Now, he is bringing some other options to the table -- other options within the Army, that is. Frankly, we are a little overwhelmed! I think that I pray at least 10 times each day that the Lord will make the right path clear to us. I think that deep down in my gut, I feel like the right thing to do would be to stay in the Army. I wonder if this feeling is from the Lord? On the other hand, I also feel like I know what we should do, but I don't want to do it. Like I know it will be hard, so I'm fighting it. And round and round we go ...

It's hard to explain. During the day, I just feel certain that Jon should stay in and that I CAN DO IT as a military wife. I feel like God is calling us to this, and I want to be able to step up to the plate and be the strong military wife and mother that He wants me to be. But then at night I change my mind! Especially when I talk to Jon in the middle of the night. He talks about staying in and right away I get a kind of sick feeling in the pit of my stomach. What does all of this mean?

There are two songs I've been listening to on my iPod lately. They are so inspirational to me, so I thought I'd share. :)

IF YOU WANT ME TO by Ginny Owens
The pathway is broken, and the signs are unclear
And I don't know the reason why you brought me here
But just because you love me the way that you do
I'm gonna walk through the valley if you want me to

Cause I'm not who I was when I took my first step
And I'm clinging to the promise you're not through with me yet
So if all of these trials bring me closer to you
Then I will go through the fire if you want me to

It may not be the way I would have chosen
When you lead me through a world that's not my home
But you never said it would be easy
You only said I'll never go alone

So when the whole world turns against me and I'm all by myself
And I can't hear you answer my cries for help
I'll remember the suffering you're love put you through
And I will go through the valley if you want me to


PRAISE YOU IN THIS STORM by Casting Crowns
I was sure by now,
God, you would have reached down
And wiped our tears away ...
Stepped in and saved the day
But once again, I say "Amen"
And it's still raining

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear you whisper through the rain, "I'm with you"
And as your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away

I'll praise you in this storm
And I will lift my hands
For you are who you are
No matter where I am
And every tear I've cried
You hold in your hand
You've never left my side
And though my heart is torn
I will praise you in this storm

I remember when I stumbled in the wind
You heard my cry to you and raised me up again
My strength is almost gone
How can I carry on if I can't find you?

As the thunder rolls
I barely hear you whisper through the rain, "I'm with you"
And as your mercy falls
I raise my hands and praise the God who gives and takes away

I lift my eyes unto the hills
Where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord
The maker of heaven and earth