Teaching would be so easy if it wasn't for PARENTS.
After returning from a workshop today, I got on the computer to check my school email - just making sure I didn't miss anything major today. Most of them were same-old, everyday "who wants to work in the dunk-tank at the carnival on the last day of school," "it's time for the budget committee to meet," "band concert tomorrow night, " yadda yadda yadda. Until I get to the last one -- a parent basically informing me that I have failed her son as a teacher this year. WHAAAAAT???
I'm honestly crushed. I don't even know how to respond to this. It seems that this parent has waited until the last three weeks of school to tell me how much of a disservice my teaching has been to her child, how I personally have failed their family -- basically pinning any responsibility for her son's struggles this year on me. In my 3 years of teaching, I have NEVER had a parent complaint that I can remember. My classroom is very structured, my expectations for my students are very high, and I think I do a pretty good job of holding kids accountable. I don't even want to call or email her back, because I'm afraid what I have to say could get me fired! And the sad thing is -- I really like her son. UGH! I guess I need to just wipe my tears, stop taking it personally, and just let the whole thing go.
Or, I could refer her to the parent hotline ...
SCHOOL ANSWERING MACHINE
"Hello! You have reached the automated answering service of your school. In order to assist you in connecting the right staff member, please listen to all your options before making a selection:
"To lie about why your child is absent - Press 1
"To make excuses for why your child did not do his work- Press 2
"To complain about what we do - Press 3
"To swear at staff members - Press 4
"To ask why you didn't get information that was already enclosed in your newsletter and several flyers mailed to you - Press 5
"If you want us to raise your child - Press 6
"If you want to reach out and touch, slap or hit someone - Press 7
"To request another teacher for the third time this year- Press 8
"To complain about bus transportation - Press 9
"To complain about school lunches - Press 0
"If you realize this is the real world and your child must be accountable and responsible for his/her own behavior, class work, homework, and that it's not the teachers' fault for your child's lack of effort: Hang up and have a nice day!"
6 comments:
Ick--I probably get one of these a year! I've been teaching middle school for 12 years now, and am learning to take what there is to learn from the situation and leave the rest behind. (But it still hurts more than I'd like to admit!) Many times it is an emotional reaction to something you may not even be a part of--you are just an easy target as a nice, caring teacher--and especially easy to reach by email. She may well have forgotten about it already, while you are still stinging. It's not fair.
Have a glass of wine and think about all the wonderful books you'll read this summer!-The year's almost over!
Thanks for your book list, by the way. I took it with me to Borders and indulged a bit this weekend! :)
Be well--
Lara
Funny because I am writing a post for tomorrow about my mistakes as a teacher . . . tune in . . . I have made mistakes but that is what human does right?
I like the answering machine messages...unfortunately, I think that people spend more time searching for people to blame for all sorts of problems in life than they ever do searching for solutions and taking responsibility. We are a society of excuse makers. :(
Hmm...from a teacher to a fellow teacher I hear you. It is tough to receive criticism from a parent. Last year I got my first one and it was so hard. I set up a meeting with the dad to see what could be done. My stomach was absolutely in knots before he came. We met in my classroom and talked for over an hour. In the end, it was really great. I saw things from his point of view, and actually learned a lot about how I could be a better teacher. I know that I can always improve. He also had the opportunity to hear me explain the way that I run my classroom and I had a chance to relay to him my thoughts about his son's performance in my class. In the end, we both learned a lot and that parent is now one of my favourites! I have seen him and his wife at various times in the community and they always have a big smile and a wave for me. They also say that they were thankful that Josh had me as a teacher.
All that said, I encourage you to talk with this parent. It isn't always easy, but the outcome can be excellent. If the parent doesn't want to meet and you believe that you have done things the right way, then shrug it off and chalk it up to a parent that doesn't want to take responsibility.
Blessings...
Rachel,
I had a similar experience in January and it was disturbing to say the least because I felt totally sucker punched. The letter (a real typed one) was scathing and said things like "she's worthless, she's got to go, she's a pathetic teacher, etc." It was not good. On the plus side, the parent is mentally unstable and many of the issues were completely fabricated and blown up. Despite that knowledge and a lot of reinforcement from my principal, I spent a few nights at home in tears not really knowing why I teach if it comes down to this after a hard day's work. Carefully consider talking to this parent since it is so close to the end of the year. At this point, it may not accomplish a whole lot. You are a good teacher. You are a good person. Don't let this type of stuff get you down. It makes me mad that you even have to deal with it. Ugh is right.
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